Life, uh huh

My last trip out was a lot of work. Late nights, early mornings- random sleeping patterns.

I went to Corpus Christi twice both on different boats. Our run to FL was taken away, which caused us all so so much grief.

We ran into a few storms that made for interesting days and nights. The pictures of rain don’t really look like anything and were quickly discarded.

Usually it’s alligators or dolphins, this day it was cows.

I am doing my best to stay level headed and to be a man on a mission. The job is really rough at points and is always really hard to leave for. It’s causing me a lot of strain on important relationships. I know that I should be more aggressive in keeping these up and maintained, but being away like I am it’s very hard to force a phone call at the end of a long day or when I have a few hours to sleep before I have to get back up and work some more. I never know where I’ll be going or what I’ll be doing (aside from the normal day to day tasks) Sometimes I have service and a lot of times I don’t. There are a few of you I haven’t talked to in months and I am sorry for that. There are others who have just been neglected and I feel terrible for that.

Another Mission Statement: Opening and Closing Doors.

“We accept the love we think we deserve” S. Chbosky

There is a past that I haven’t fully recovered from. There are a lot of things that I wish I could take back. I know we move with forward momentum, but a lot of times I think I stall out. I need to work on that. I need exude positivity throughout, to love myself. I need to be more aware of my actions and more in tune with my subconscious. I have done my best to not repeat mistakes but sometimes do them unknowingly. With the help of a few people over the last few days I have realized who I should be and am slowly realizing why I am not. I leave tomorrow for Texas, for the Stacy Shelby. On this trip I need to really figure out what I am doing with my life and get a grasp on where I need to go on a personal level. I can’t retract my actions but I cannot just let them go, you can’t dismiss what you’ve done but I know I should dismiss what others have done to me. I can’t blame everything on what once happened to me. I need to let some wounds heal but beyond that I need to amputate certain parts that are holding me back. I’m going to work harder to be a better person all around. I hope the people I have hurt can forgive me and I can forgive myself and those who have done wrong to me.

Sincerely,

Andy

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